I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Send help, water and tortillas.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
