he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
