Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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