i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
