even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
