the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
