Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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