I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
