I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
