So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
