singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
