yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
