I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
