Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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