We named our party play list daddy issues
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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