they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Edward fifth and chaser hands
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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