okay pat passed out under dana's car
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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