please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
