it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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