My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
