She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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