So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
