It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
