some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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