i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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