How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
