i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I'm really busy with my period
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