Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
