Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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