oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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