Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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