Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
