you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I cannot find my penis.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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