i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
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