I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
