So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Two words: blizzard sex
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
