Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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