idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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