woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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