So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
