they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
