Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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