i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
