Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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