WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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