It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
