I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
