at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Send help, water and tortillas.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
