Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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