He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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